Well, That Was for Nothing

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Even if it's Jay Sean.

Britney still needs to be #1 tho.

A Call to Action

To all my American readers out there, I have a desperate humanitarian effort to combat an issue that NEEDS to cease immediately. For once, it actually affects you directly!

The Black Eyed Peas have tyrannically ruled out music charts for over six months now. Their rise to power was swift, unforeseeable and ruthless. There was never any sanity in it to begin with, so where are we NOW? We as a nation have not accomplished anything during their reign or seen any restfulness or peace, and it's arguable to say everything wrong that has happened in the last six months is because of Fergie's uncomfortable, random screaming. It's never been Obama. No president could possibly be effective in a land this ravaged.

But there could be a way to end it all. I know you're all skeptical and pessimistic. Taylor couldn't do it. Jay-Z couldn't do it. Miley couldn't do it. [insert random rapper/hip-hop artist who literally came out of nowhere and landed in the top five here] couldn't do it.

Maybe Britney can.

All you, my dear freedom-loving Americans, need to do is buy Britney Spears' "3" on iTunes for $1.29, and call your local radio stations and DEMAND them to play the song as much as it could legally be played. If enough people join our brigade for what is truly right, this plan of action could very well be the best chance we have to defeat the enemy.

Of course this could backfire. I swear the same campaign was implemented for Miley, and yet that didn't work. BEP's new single has been unleashed, and it could (and probably will) bound and replace it's predecessor. WE MUST NOT LET THAT HAPPEN THOUGH. That's part of the battle. EMBARGO. The interesting thing is I know barely anyone who even cares about them anymore. That and it hasn't charted at the top of any other Billboard chart for a while, so how is it still #1?

Whoops, sorry, we're gliding into my conspiracy theories! Silly. *zips folder*

My point is, we need to do all we can do change things, even if it could end fruitless. The power is in the trying. So, friends, Romans, countrymen PEOPLE, I implore you.

Make them realize we've had enough.

(Not really in any technical fashion, it seems, BUT IN SPIRIT!) Vote Britney for Hot 100 #1.
(and the radio station thing.)
Please help to end our long national nightmare. Thank you.

The Entirely Belated List of J.D.'s Best Films of 2008 + the Anticlimactic Completion of the Chloes

Warning: this is extremely long. But not like a normal person's extremely long.

Well, here we are. I said Monday and I meant Monday and it's Monday. Unless you're east of the prime meridian, which is NOT my problem, so let's just get this over with. I'm doing a top fifteen because I've decided that's how I do things - five nominees from ten finalists, with five semi-finalists backing things up. It seems efficient enough.

Presented without much comment, and of the 105 films I apparently saw and count for 2008 (yay archive!), here are the 15 best of them IMFO.

...

THE SEMI-FINALISTS.

...

#15 The Class
Laurent Cantet
(SPC, December 19)

#14 A Christmas Tale
Arnaud Desplechin
(IFC, November 14)

#13 Australia
Baz Luhrmann
(Fox, November 26)
Ed. note: As most of you will recall from last year, I was completely obsessive about this movie months before it came out. I couldn't go five seconds without thinking/screaming aloud "OMG AUSTRALIA!" And it didn't disappoint me. It still hasn't. The problem was I was just too fanatical. I rolled with it's obvious flaws and claimed them as just adding to it's overall "masterful" existence. BUT I still think it's a great, thoroughly entertaining work of overly romantic awesomeness, and I probably like it more than most of the films on this list. So make of all that as you will.

#12 The Wrestler
Darren Aronofsky
(Fox Searchlight, December 17)

#11 Waltz with Bashir
Ari Folman
(SPC, December 25)

...

MY TOP TEN, + THE FINALISTS.

...

#10 The Fall
Tarsem
(Roadside, May 9)

#9 Reprise
Joachim Trier
(Miramax, May 16)

#8 The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
David Fincher
(Paramount/Warner, December 25)

#7 Love Songs
Christophe Honoré
(IFC, March 21)

#6 Happy-Go-Lucky
Mike Leigh
(Miramax, October 10)

...

Which obvies leads to MY NOMINEES FOR BEST PICTURE.

...

#5 The Dark Knight
Christopher Nolan
(Warner, July 18)

#4 The Reader
Stephen Daldry
(TWC, December 10)

#3 WALL•E
Andrew Stanton
(Disney/Pixar, June 27)

#2 Paranoid Park
Gus Van Sant
(IFC, March 7)

...

*drum roll*

...

And now, fiiiiinally, MY BEST PICTURE OF THE YEAR.

...

#1 Milk
Gus Van Sant
(Focus, November 26)
That noise you hear is of you and everybody else not being surprised. Of course it's Milk, it was never gonna be anything else. Though it's more of an emotionally linked rallying cry than a truly great film at this point, it still IS a truly great film, and one of the most important and affecting I've ever seen. ♥

Now:

THE CHLOES ARE DONE!!!!
Winners in gold, runners-up in silver and bronze. Yes, medals. I'm original. If there's anything you want me to comment on, then ask in the comments. I usually try to act like I have a descriptive brain in that box.

I need to announce tho that I revoked Waltz with Bashir's Documentary Feature nomination. It's so categorically in the gray - it's more like a personal History Channel special than a flat-out documentary - that I thought it kinda does a disservice to more determinable docs.

For reference, here are all the winners in readable text form:

Best Picture: Milk
Best Director: Gus Van Sant, Milk + Paranoid Park
Best Original Screenplay: Dustin Lance Black, Milk
Best Adapted Screenplay: François Bégaudeau + Robin Campillo + Laurent Cantet, The Class
Best Animated Feature Film: WALL•E
Best Foreign Language Film: Love Songs
Best Documentary Feature Film: American Teen
Best Actor in a Leading Role: Sean Penn, Milk
Best Actress in a Leading Role: Sally Hawkins, Happy-Go-Lucky
Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Penélope Cruz, Elegy + Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Best Art Direction: Australia
Best Cinematography: Milk
Best Costume Design: Australia
Best Film Editing: Milk
Best Make-Up: The Dark Knight
Best Original Score: Love Songs
Best Mix-Tape Score: Waltz with Bashir
Best Original Song: "Au Parc", Love Songs
Best Sound Mixing: Paranoid Park
Best Sound Editing: WALL•E
Best Visual Effects: Speed Racer
Best Ensemble Acting: A Christmas Tale
Best Limited/Cameo Acting: Karina Fernandez, Happy-Go-Lucky
Best Juvenile Acting: Catinca Untaru, The Fall
Best Voice-Over Acting: Tress MacNeille, Futurama: Bender's Game
Man, that looks weird put together. And gay. And adolescent. And ADD-riddled. And I need to stop starting my sentences with the word 'and'.

I really hope people care and comment/tell me what they think! *nervous laughter*

The Chloes ARE Still Happening, You Know

I finally announced the complete nominees two weeks ago but I'm not sure anyone actually noticed that. If you didn't, HERE YOU GO, YOU ILLITERATE TWAT. Ahem. So, if anyone's wondering if I'll ever announce the winners, I decided on a date:

FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25TH, 2009.

AKA in just two days. Mmhmm. Why the fuck not? I have everything more or less decided, and from there it's just a matter of not having a breakdown while applying repetitive HTML edits. (Fun, btw.)

One thing tho: I nominated Lena Olin in Limited/Cameo for The Reader, but with much contemplation - and the constant self-reminding that I nominated Redgrave last year and she possibly had less screen time than Olin - I've decided to move her up to legit supporting. Who'd she kick out, then? Chiara Mastroianni and her double nom of melancholic French amazingness. :(

Well, she still has her three total noms in Ensemble and Song, I guess.

SO. Does anyone still care or no?

ETA: Due to some unfortunate...lifeness, I can't finish them today. :(

I've decided to reschedule to:

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 28TH, 2009.

So no big sweat. :)

How Does It Hurt to Hear Your Songs on the Radio (Radio, Radiooooooooooo)?

This has no point except for that it's audience interaction and I'm bored and I think I need to post something. Anyway, he's one of my literally classic music lyric guessing games, made of opening lyrics. And since I haven't done one since my "British expansion pack" musical renaissance (which is still raging beautifully) began, at least half of these are by British people I probably didn't know existed a year ago. Just saying. Use Google if ya want, I don't give a fuck. <3

01. "Easy living killed the young dudes in the high boots." Alphabeat, "Fascination" (Dave)

02. "Sometimes I get my head in a dilly, feeling so lost, ticking you off." VV Brown, "Shark in the Water" (Dave)

03. "He left no time to regret, kept his dick wet with his same old safe bet." Amy Winehouse, "Back to Black" (James)

04. "Saturday, stepping into the club, the music makes me wanna tell the DJ 'turn it up.'" Lindsay Lohan, "Rumors" (kimandr)

05. "There he goes, gone again. Same old story's gotta come to an end."

06. "You're moving in circles, looking for the love that I thought we made while I stand alone." Girls Aloud, "Turn to Stone" (Dave)

07. "I got my sights set on you and I'm ready to aim." Miley Cyrus, "See You Again" (James)

08. "Mission one: I'ma put this on, when he see me in the dress I'ma get me some." Beyoncé, "Get Me Bodied" (James)

09. "The motorway won't take a horse, the wanderer has found a course to follow." Patrick Wolf, "The Libertine" (Wayne)

10. "Do you think everything, everyone is going mental?" Lily Allen, "Everything's Just Wonderful" (Dave)

11. "No wonder I'm scared to look in your eyes, you've turned me away so many times."

12. "They didn't have you where I come from, never knew the best was yet to come." Dixie Chicks, "Lullaby" (Wayne)

13. "Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleach blond tramp,
and she's probably getting frisky." Carrie Underwood, "Before He Cheats" (James)

14. "Look at this and look at us. We wonder, oh, we're wondering." Bat for Lashes, "Peace of Mind" (Dave)

15. "How can you see into my eyes, like open doors?" Evanescence, "Bring Me to Life" (Wayne)

16. "The problem of leisure, what to do for pleasure." Gang of Four, "Natural's Not in It" (Gehenna27)

17. "Well this stone that I have swallowed isn't going down so well."

18. "Fed up with your indigestion, swallow words one by one." The Ting Tings, "Great DJ" (Wayne)

19. "I hear him, before I go to sleep and focus on the day that's been." Kate Bush, "The Man with the Child in His Eyes" (Dave)

20. "Watching me like you never watched no one, don't tell me that you didn't try and check out my bum." Kate Nash, "Merry Happy" (kimandr)

Sooooooooooo?

I've Got a Remedy (Oh, Oh-Oh, Oh-Oh)

Btw, the song I'm quoting for the post title has nothing to do with the post itself. Which is Little Boots' "Remedy" of course. AKA a song that will no doubt be my absolute, mind-exploding favorite of 2009, and that if something actually does beat it that song would probably be legitimately the greatest thing ever made in the history of the world. But I digress.

My remedy = posting something substantial. SEE WHAT I DID THERE. What's it though? Well, I have a couple things to say that I owe to y'all.

Firstly, the Chloes are up. You are not imagining that.

All but Best Picture (hopefully doing something bigger for this, but don't quote me on that) are there in plagiarized pictorial table formatting. I actually found doing it even further from it's relevancy gave me a clearer view of everything, so that I could judge stuff without the "recent"-ness and by what actually stuck, you know? Also, SOMEONE REMIND ME WHENEVER I DO THEM NEXT YEAR NOT TO DO THE COMMENTARY BOXES THOUGH. They're kind of an unnecessary bitch and are what brought me down last year too. I finally learned my lesson.

And hopefully someone still cares.

Now, the second part.

Anyone who's a friend of mine on Facebook probably knows all this already because I announced it in a note. In fact, I'm just gonna repeat what I said in that:

This is a list I formed in January consisting of 100 films - some undisputed classics, some films I've been meaning to see forever - that I HAVE to see by the end of the year or else I have to jump off a bridge (I mean, if I don't actually finish the list I'm probably not going to do THAT but I am gonna be incredibly depressed in myself and the world for the rest of my life... well, moreso). I've been meaning to post this SOMEWHERE for some time, and since FB seems to be my hub as of late I might as well. Why? Maybe to provoke discussion of the films. Maybe to look like a self-aggrandizing whore. Maybe just for y'all to prod me into trying to actually do it, idk. Like, we're over two-thirds into the year and I've only seen 27 of them. WTFNESS.

That pretty much covers it! Especially the last part. I'VE ONLY SEEN 27 SO FAR FOR THE WHOLE FUCKING YEAR?!?! I need to freaking prioritize. And I'm secretly glad I can still sound that psychotic. GO ME.

So here's the list. I'll be updating it every time I see a movie off it, just like I do for my sidebar and my archive itself (which I'm more and more thinking is just for myself - who else actually uses it?). Comments and bitch slaps for not having seen any or all films are always appreciated.

This is the most I've written in over a month. Somebody hug me.

Happy 17th, Demi!

Just add a year. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

This is Me, Three Hours Till Ponyo

PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO PONYO

Hey, what did you expect? Reasonableness?

In Which I Completely Fall for Florence Welch

I've been listening to Florence + the Machine for about a month ago, and I'll admit her album (Lungs) just keeps manage to grow exponentially in my mind. It's insane. In particular, though, I've been obsessed with "Drumming Song". Like, a legit, creepy obsession. IT'S SO GODDAMN EPIC.

But, in a recent trend of me becoming a slave to songs of British songstresses that magically become singles [in the UK where I don't live because God hates me] ... well you get what I meant by that. I really don't have any other information except for the music video, which was added to the Florence YouTube account yesterday.

Which is the whole point to this post. Becaaaauuse...



OMG THIS IS SO AMAZING
That orgasmic video now gives me the confidence to say I love her. I can't not love someone who can make that. And as many people as I can possibly force need to witness this amazingness. So, like, WATCH IT NOW. I WON'T STOP TALKING IN BOLD AND CAPS UNTIL YOU DO.

(P.S. I promise I will eventually stop just doing posts centered around videos and maybe talk about film. MAYBE. That really depends on if anyone like cares.)

HAVE YOU WATCHED IT YET?! Gah, you people are impossible. <3

BRIGHT STAR TRAILER OMG!

I'm trying to post more. Here's a perfect attempt-hole!



Just... ignore the narration. Please.
I really hope good things come for Jane Campion's Bright Star. I really do. I don't know why though. I don't love The Piano as much as everyone else, apparently - and while I'm not saying it will, it does look like it could be a weird, poetic retread of places Becoming Jane already kinda unsuccessfully went (possibly just because they're both about 19th century writers + OMG PRETTY BRITISH ROMANTIC COSTUME DRAMA). But something just seems... very nice about it. Maybe it's Ben Whishaw. He's so attractive to me. Don't ask.

Anyway, I'm also holding out for Abbie Cornish. I REALLY don't know why there. I've only seen her in a couple things and... IDK how to describe it. She was really good in Somersault, but kinda in a "ooh, she has a fuckload of promise" way as opposed to her being legitimately great. And I had REALLY high expectations of her in Elizabeth: The Golden Age. Like, Bess Throckmorton's life was so CHOCK FULL of workable bait. Yet most of the dramatic meat of her life that I was hoping for ended up not being in the film and/or being completely inaccurate and Elizabeth-focused. So that didn't end well. Bleh. I think I just naturally like her and don't know what to do about it. Ideally, she can just unequivocally prove herself with this and leave all my doubt to go fuck itself. 'Ideally' don't happen much tho.

Like, all I really know about this is that it's gonna be pretty as hell. Which is probably enough. So, what do YOU think?

OMFJCWTFHHINSTBOMGOMGOMG∞

Otherwise known as "OH MY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST, WHAT THE FUCK - HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE?!?!?! OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD *ad infinitum*"

If for no other reason than the song being NIRVANA INCARNATE.

Yes.

Things I've Been Doing Instead of Blogging

Being utterly obsessed with Little Boots.

Watching a metric fuckton of movies.
I wish a lot of them were better, but eh, what ya gonna do.

Being intrinsically melancholy.
That is what came up first when I Google Image searched. It works.

Still being mind-numbingly obsessed with Little Boots.

Camwhoring.

Getting the new Seventh Seal Criterion Blu-Ray
AND (semi-related bonus point)
worrying people on the internet are going to die/are already dead.


Have I mentioned Little Boots yet?

...okay then.

So, what have YOU been doing while I haven't been blogging?

It's good to be back. Kinda. Hopefully?