Even if I don't think I'm the best blogger there is, that doesn't mean I can just neglect my little mistake, right? I love my little VD. He's so shiny and loud and confused, just like his daddy. Speaking of him, he's somewhere between being a boy and being a... less boy-like male person. But most times, he doesn't know what to do. And he may come up with something, but he can never articulate it in the way he wishes it were. He wants to feed his baby, but he can rarely do so with something that won't make him hungry again in an hour. It's tiresome. Sometimes I think of putting him up for adoption, but that involves the law, so that's out. I am NOT abandoning him, though. Sadly, y'all know what happened the last time I did that to one of my children. Well, I didn't abandon JMC as much as I left it in another (very crazy AND very British) person's care, but I didn't think it through, and when I came back my little baby was gone. Literally, gone.
Then for some reason I just had to have another one! I'M NOT GOOD WITH RESPONSIBILITY. Why can't I just remember that? I can't even make toast. I really need to settle down with a nice rich old guy I can mooch off of until he kicks the bucket and I get at least $40 million from his will. Until then, I got my son. His SS doesn't even come in every month anymore. Fuck. So what am I to do? I'm not very good-looking, and my junk's all worn out. I'm clumsy, and near-sighted, and I cry at carefully timed intervals, but they may seem spontaneous. Plus, I'd have to lug the kid around everywhere I went, and that's a chore, believe me.
They always mess themselves up.
And in their absence...
you can only mess with yourself.
Save me, Laura.