TRROOOOOOOYYYYY!!!!!!

OMG, I think I underestimated how much this movie will suck. It always was, but, like, it looks WORSE?!?! But Zac's all hot and sweaty and wet in it, so who cares about quality? Not me. What about you?

The Conversations of Others

For the second straight month, I sorta dropped the ball with the LAMB MOTM. I've still got time, but it's not really a review. (When is it ever?) Hopefully it'll be acceptable...

The Conversation is an excellent study of human nature. It's an anti-thriller: a thriller that is slower and more tedious than a thriller should be, but through the brilliance of it's design and execution, is very tense and edge-of-your-seat without you being completely conscious of it. Few directors can pull something like this off successfully, and of course Coppola is one of them. But because of the very superficial similarities, I couldn't stop comparing it to another movie, which led to my ultimate opinion. I know it's completely unfair, but it's sort of true:

*nervous chuckle*
VD Grade: ★★★★½ (out of five)

The Advantages of Li(n)king People

Here at VD we've gotten A LOT of hits today. 127 so far, a record, and like I said - a lot! Well, for me. I don't know if it's a lot for you, since hits-lottage is subjective, but I think it's impressive for a blog that would be lucky to get half that. So yay. But why did it happen? Because his highness Nathaniel of The Film Experience linked this week's MMM. I'm always ecstatic when he acknowledges my existence, so a link, when it happens, makes my mind EXPLODE. Plus, he sorta complimented me! But it made me realize something: I don't link enough. It's not really my style, because I'm not very good at it. But I then like I figured, screw it, make some shout-outs! So here are some really awesome posts at some really blogs that might be old or new, but they're really awesome so it doesn't matter.

Marcy @ Because I Saw The Film reviews the entire point of Valley Dreamin' - Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind. Extreme hyperventilating from me follows. CONVERTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brooke @ Boy on Film (UNDERRATED+UNDERPOSTING) begins his Top 100 with a screwball double-spot at #100. Also worth a look: his Top 100 Performances by Actresses from last year.

DL @ The Cellar Door, always one of my favorite, has a nasty habit of dropping off the face of the earth, or at least his blog. But, thanks to my kind whimpering, he's back! And he's doing tags I gave him! *girlish giggle*

Caitlin @ 1416 and Counting dedicated a post of squeeing over the guys she finds particularly hot to me, and I couldn't be prouder of her. There's a Part II too!

James @ Rants of a Diva (who can sometimes be painfully awesome, good thing) reviews Camp Rock. It's negative, of course, and it's one of the most brilliant things I've ever read. Particularly:

Maybe the lack of chemistry between [Mitchie and Shane] can be attributed to the awful acting going on here. Things were going so badly for these "actors" that eventually I was praying for Vanessa Hudgens to appear and save the day. Yes, I said it: Save the day.

I'm never gonna let you live that down, dude.

Hayden @ Much Ado About Nothing (who also tends to drop off the face of the earth and underposts - we have a trend!) puts up his Top 50 for all to see and announces a week-by-week rundown of them!

Nick @ Fataculture and I get random. That's all you need to know.

RJ @ The Rural Juror has done a very nice layout of the newly-announced star of Tim Burton's probably-stale interpretation of Alice in Wonderland, Mia Wasikowska. It's very intriguing, and makes me (along with Glenn's raving) really wish September might be released in the U.S. before I graduate. College. *sigh*

And finally, Dave @ Victim of the Time did a mega ultimate intricately long halfway music rundown a while back that is just tops.

I hope this does my karma good. :)

Monday Movie Meltdown, 3rd Ed.

I've decided that every Monday, I'm gonna awkwardly scribble down some thoughts on the movies I watched over the past week, except those which I've already reviewed. Good idea, right? So original too, OMG.

Since there wasn't one last week, I decided to include a couple from that time frame that I actually want to talk about, so it's NOT just because I had a lackluster week! In the last two weeks, I also saw Love Songs, Breaking & Entering, Billy Elliot, Pretty Persuasion, Fanny & Alexander, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight (which I can't review until I see it again).

The Secret Life of Words -- I really, really, really, really, really loved this. It really shouldn't be as obscure as it seems to be. It's both warm and cold, and despite what happens and what's revealed, it makes you feel a little better by making you feel a little worse. Hanna is an incredible character, expertly crafted and shadowed, and Sarah Polley gives an absolutely incredible performance - I might even hazard a guess that it's the best of her career, thought most are sight unseen. She's that great. Tim Robbins, Javier Cámara, and Julie Christie (in an outstanding cameo) are all great as well. See it. Now.

Interiors -- Fun fact: this is the first Woody Allen picture I've ever seen that WASN'T made in the last 4 years! Don't look at me like that. I know it's bad, and I know I had to break that habit eventually (especially after the dreadful Cassandra's Dream), but I didn't know when it would actually happen. Thankfully, it has, and with his Bergman movie, no less. I loved it (more or less) as much as the three Bergmans I've seen, too! A good deal of it went like a thousand miles over my head, but I didn't care. I knew what I was watching was something I can go back to throughout the latter stages of my life, and within each viewing I can understand it more and more and I would never love it less, perhaps more. In typical Allen fashion, the ensemble is almost uniformly great, especially Diane Keaton and Mary Beth Hurt. I don't understand Geraldine Page's apparent acclaim, but she definitely had her moments. Wonderfully haunting, complex art.

The Cranes Are Flying -- One of my favorite things about TCM is their Imports series that happens every Sunday/Monday morning. It's basically an excuse to air semi-to-extremely obscure foreign language films that are already readily available from Criterion, and I couldn't be more grateful. After all, it's how I first watched Fanny and Alexander! TLLL: You're digressing again. Right, sorry. The film is absolutely devastating, both in it's romantic and completely human story, and in the way it was made. A film like this made in the USSR in 1957?! Nope. Can't be. And yet... *jumps up and down screeching like a little boy on Christmas morning* The cinematography and editing work is some of the best I have and will EVER see, and it works magnificently with Kalatozov's completely masterful direction. Tatyana Samojlova, our lovely Audrey Hepburn-esque lead, does everything right. So much so that I can't find any faults within her performance. Through her journey, we just witness absolute perfection. And I've gotta say, the ending is one of the most beautiful, non-specifically patriotic things ever made. So is the film.

Hellboy -- I never cared about this enough to see it up until now. It's kinda awesome, kinda funny, kinda del Toro. That's pretty much it.

Porco Rosso -- Excuse this, but it was surprisingly fantastic. Yeah, it's a Miyazaki, but it's lesser for some reason, and for some reason I was expecting lesser. LOL, 'lesser' so doesn't exist. Bad me. It's damn excellent, and an exhilarating juggle of comedy and poignancy, and because it's by who it's by, awesome flying sequences. I loved Gina too. Very entertaining in a different way than his other movies, and it's very comforting to know that.

So, how was your film week(s)? And how many times have you seen The Dark Knight? More than likely, a lot. The highest number gets a cookie, a ghost story and a beating, so speak up!

Whoo! Duffy! Amazing! She's Sort of Hot Too! Yeah!

Christ, Rockferry is brilliant. And no, I'm not late to the party. I've just been too busy over the last two+ months listening to it on a loop to say so. Half the album I'd describe as "my jam". So what's your opinion of her?

The Ekdahl Pavilion

I watched Fanny & Alexander last night. The television version, of course. All 5 hours. In one sitting. My butt never once screamed at me, so that's a plus. In fact, it was probably incredibly happy, considering the rest of my body was.

First of all, it seemed incredibly natural the entire way through. Every scene, all of them, were beyond petty adjectives. That someone was able to cut A LOT from it and still make it one of the best films ever made, A DOWNGRADE, just seems unfathomable. Somebody explain this. Actually, don't. On second thought, the supernatural, unexplainable mystery is alluring. This movie is so excellently everything'd. Am I wrong?

I also realized this is really an ensemble picture. Their, um, interesting family is expertly highlighted. It seems with the condensing came the removal of some of their arcs, weirdly. They were just there. But now, almost suddenly, their like existence makes sense. I'd put Fanny in this group, honestly - I just remembered her being there and eating and staring. But now I love her! That head-shift when the Bishop tries to touch her is now legendary for me. ♥

Lest we forget Alexander.

Bertil Guve gives what is perhaps my favorite child performance ever, which is a sub-section I've always been particularly fond of. It's not really his traditional acting, which probably isn't incredibly great - it's the character, the way he's written, the way everything else is made around him. So it's pretty much Bergman's fault this kid rocked so hard. Plus, I sorta have a crush on him. He's just so cute! And he didn't age that badly, too. I don't know!!!

So, concluding my fractured thoughts on this immortal masterpiece, I loved it not only more than I did the theatrical version, but also more than I ever dreamed I would. Don't ask me what I dreamed I would - it probably includes clowns - but it surpassed it. I said when I saw it the first time that it might be the greatest film ever made, so, if that's inferior... then my soul feels sweaty and giddy and sticky and at peace with the world. Yes, it's an orgasm joke.

VD Grade: ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ (out of five)

(BTW, Guve was almost going to be my contribution to Michael's Rug Rats Blog-a-Thon, but it got too complicated and I canned it, so I'm plugging it instead.)

_L_N_NE_S!

Via. Have I ever mentioned that I still want to see Blindness? Like, a lot? Despite what happened at Cannes (which can be a good thing), there's just too much WIN in this movie to automatically dismiss it, for me at least. Ah, well, good or bad, it's gonna majorly bomb. That's undeniable.

The 12 Movies Meme

So I go to the laptop this night-morning after watching the first three (PHENOMENAL) episodes of Mad Men to tie up all the lose ends I might have so I can go to bed, and what do I see staring back at me from the screen? A murderous-looking ram standing next to a Bible-looking book! What the hell am I talking about? A post on My New Plaid Pants, of course! But then I look around the murderous-looking ram and I notice that it's a meme that Piper made. And then I see, at the end of the post, MY NAME! JA tagged me! *giggles* This shouldn't make me feel as validated as it does, but my self-esteem is evil. So, forsaking my bedtime, I tried figuring out what the fuck I should do, though keeping in mind this is purely hypothetical, which occasionally made me sad, because some of these are brilliant. Anyway, les rules:

1) Choose 12 Films to be featured. They could be random selections or part of a greater theme. Whatever you want.

2) Explain why you chose the films.

3) Link back to Lazy Eye Theatre so I can have hundreds of links and I can take those links and spread them all out on the bed and then roll around in them.

4) The people selected then have to turn around and select 5 more people.

Now, without further ado, THE VALLEY DREAMIN' FILM FESTIVAL...

NIGHT #1: The Contrast

NIGHT #2: The Nap

NIGHT #3: The Sexy

NIGHT #4: The Weird

NIGHT #5: The Random

NIGHT #6: The J.D.
Night #1 is is sort of self-indulgent - I've just always wanted to do that. Both were released by Studio Ghibli (♥) in 1988, and are as far away from each other tonally as anything can be, I think. But it's the fact that they were a double feature that gets me. Like, was Totoro's cuteness REALLY going to console Japanese schoolchildren after Fireflies' soul-crushing misery? I'd like to find out.

Night #2, basically, makes me giggly. No, they're not the most boring films in the world, but they easily could be. I surprised myself with how much I loved both of them, despite my attention span (which is seriously abysmal). They're brilliantly written, directed and acted - and genuinely compelling and fascinating - so that could be it. Yay.

Night #3 isn't just about the unbelievable amount of sex and overall pants tightness a night like that would cause; it's also for the socio-political overtones! I know that makes me all hot and bothered! Also, it's the third! Which is 3! Do ya get it? LOL. It's funny.

Night #4 is, well, exactly it's subtitle: weird. Two films that bend time - one about a guy who lives a thousand years in multiple forms to save his love who turns into a tree by the end, and the other about a man who is commanded by Queen Elizabeth I to never grow old and later magically changes sex (and he/she is played by TILDA SWINTON) - back to back?! An incredible cinematic experience shall be had by all.

Okay, yeah, Night #5 is laziness, kinda. But you gotta admit - it's an interesting match-up, ain't it?

And finally, Night #6 is ALL ABOUT ME. Well, sorta. They're both Anime action-epics with overt environmental messages that've been a pivotal part of my psyche since I was at least seven. Hell, even before I had learned who Hayao Miyazaki actually was, I had been obsessing over Mononoke (and Kiki's Delivery Service) for YEARS. And Pokémon is Pokémon. So don't judge me. Don't you dare judge me, Lizzie!

Now, to tag five people who haven't already been tagged with this. Hm... I'll go with Dave, DL (w00t), James, Marcy, and PJ. Anyone else can do it, obviously, but if you see it here, LINK TO HERE. Because I like to be as much of a whore as I'm legally allowed to be. Good night, folks!

Love Me Less, But Love Me A Long Time

A Notice

Sadly, due to a very unfortunate massive burn out, there wasn't a Monday Movie Meltdown this week. I apologize to the three and a half of you that care. I've started to feel really uncomfortable in my own skin and have started to revert back to a state I have no desire to ever see or feel again, and it's kinda pissing me off. And yes, I'm being vague on purpose. I fear this may come off as a severely awkward suicide note, but trust me, it ain't. I don't have enough strength to kill myself or attempt it or something pathetic like that, so I'll have to soldier on and I'm alright with that. (this helps) Plus, why would I want to kill myself when the TV version of Fanny and Alexander ships today?!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn't think this post could get any grimmer, but it sorta just did. Wow.

How Sweet The Sound

Just as a heads-up, I probably won't post again until the MMM, so please enjoy this video of Hayley Westenra's exquisite rendition of "Amazing Grace" set to pictures of Grace Kelly. It's sort of fantastic. Also:

That's just awesome.

My Thoughts on the Emmy Nominations

Yay, Tin Man!
Yup, that's it.

Family is Family, Blood is Blood

Breaking and Entering is, thankfully, still very incredible on a second viewing. It sucks that it took me so long to see it again, especially because of it's severe degradation in my mind since then (I can't believe this slipped from my top ten at all), but that's life... and OMG, that's the point of the picture.

It's SO underrated and brilliant and heartbreaking and human and optimistic and fuzzy (literally)! Why does this still only have a 6.7 on IMDB?! CHRIST. Expect some Chloe vengeance action whenever the hell I do them again (SHUT UP MATT!). The ensemble is excellent, Jude Law and Robin Wright Penn are both insanely good, Vera Farmiga is HILARIOUS, and Martin Freeman is in his usual cute loser mode. I was more impressed with Rafi Gavron this time around, so that's good.

But, the most important thing is that Juliette Binoche is as great as I remember. Probably better, actually. Amira easily could've been played as a caricature, but just as naturally as she breathes, Juliette does what Juliette does, and then some. I can barely think of a more beautifully devoted screen mother (who's still grounded in reality). She's caring and seismic at the same time, and it's always electrifying. I love her so much.

The issue of it's release is something I keep getting comments on. For like ever, I've counted it for 2007 because I hate Harvey Weinstein (that's seriously the only real reason), even though it IS a 2006 film by all logic. The trouble there is... I can't really place it in 2006 BECAUSE I've had it in 2007 for so long. I have no idea where things would be ranked or how they'd be comparative to other things because it's too unfamiliar for there to be a point of reference. Nevertheless, Breaking and Entering is one of the best pictures of 2006 AND 2007, definitely. AKA: SEE IT NOW.

VD Grade: ★★★★½ (out of five)

I Can't Think of Anything to Post Tonight

But I guess this'll suffice, right?

***SIGH***
FYI, no matter how many posts I dedicate to his beauty and his incredibleness or whatever, I will probably never be able to truly express how much I wish my name was Joseph McAvoy...

In other news, VOTE FOR NAUSICAÄ. Alright? Alright.

Monday Movie Meltdown, 2nd Ed.

I've decided that every Monday, I'm gonna awkwardly scribble down some thoughts on the movies I watched over the past week, except those which I've already reviewed. Good idea, right? So original too, OMG.

Another filled week. Also saw Wanted and My Blueberry Nights.

Dancer in the Dark -- My reaction to this was reminiscent of the ones I had to Moulin Rouge! and The Umbrellas of Cherbourg: A little suspect and awkward at first, but when it hits its stride it gets magical and INCREDIBLY sad, and by the time the credits were rolling, I was a complete mess. Björk - who usually scares me - gave one of the most emotionally layered performances I've ever seen, with great performances by a great cast (most notably Catherine Deneuve and David Morse) supporting it. It's so tragic and symbolic and wonderful, then abysmally depressing, then happy for a second. I can't say I ever really expected myself to love Von Trier as a filmmaker, but with this and Dogville... just, damn.

The Seventh Seal -- I finally understand why people use the word "pretentious" to describe everything, lol. It's very much an eternal masterpiece, though. I'm not sure I can say anything that hasn't been said before, and presumably said better, with it being the generic populist #1 of his films, or from what I've seen. It's not like it's undeserved, but just because Death plays chess doesn't make it the greatest. I've only seen 3 movies of his and I already know that to be false. *Alexander Ekdahl 4ever* But I digress.

Love with the Proper Stranger -- Very meh. Natalie Wood and Steve McQueen are, of course, very enjoyable, and it's shot very nicely. But it's ultimately forgettable, despite it's oddly subtle subject matter.

Three Colors: Red -- I've now completed the Three Colors trilogy, and I gotta say: MÈRE SAINTE DE DIEU. Give or take a good deal of White, it's probably the best film trilogy ever made. I can't really put my love for them into words (and I've tried), but you're gonna have to trust me when I say it might be better than The Lion King. *ominous thunder and silence representing my obsessive childhood clutching onto me forever* Irène Jacob and Jean-Louis Trintignant are magnificent, especially in their shared scenes, and Kieslowski's direction was, seriously, endorphin-inducing for me. I really can't explain it, but I felt... happy, like I was watching the Virgin Mary give birth or something. That's probably what it was, too.

The Awful Truth -- LOLA!!! OMG!!!!!!

Shadow of a Doubt -- Pretty much incredible. Joseph Cotton is absolutely superb as the favorite uncle who may or may not strangle widows, and Teresa Wright is great as well (though less consistently) as his niece who gradually finds out the truth and has three facial expressions. It's excellently shot, and awesomely directed by Hitchcock, and written oddly but brilliantly. Loved it.

Castle in the Sky -- There are cracks in the Great Monument of Hayao Miyazaki and Isao Takahata here in the Valley capital. They're very shameful, and sometimes glaring. But I'm (finally) filling them in! Last month I saw My Neighbor Totoro for only the first time, and now this. On AD (my haven), I equated it:

Nausicaä / the apocalypse - super-overt environmental message + (values of humanity x the Industrial Revolution) + Cloris Leachman = Castle in the Sky.

It's sounds crazy, but believe me, it is. It's more comical than Ghibli's previous (and first) effort, and on a brighter and more adventurous scale, and with a less synth-reliant score - Christ, I love Joe Hisaishi. It does seem to take the lessons taunt and learned in Nausicaä and advances upon them, and even adds some new and more existential arguments - mankind's never-ending quest for knowledge, technology, loyalty, lineage, and the worth of one life against many lives, and humanity itself. It's meaningful, epic, incredible fun. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE.

I might as well, my current Ghibli ranking:

1. Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind
2. Princess Mononoke
3. Spirited Away
4. Castle in the Sky
5. Grave of the Fireflies
6. Howl's Moving Castle
7. Whisper of the Heart
8. Kiki's Delivery Service
9. My Neighbor Totoro

What are your favorite Ghibli movies? Or Bergmans? Or Hitchcocks? Or anything? Or, just generally, how was your week in movies?

God Help Us All

Fuck, I AM gonna see it opening weekend. *grumble grumble* Well, um, James, I trust you have La Tisdale's Oscar campaign set up by now?

The Best of '08 So Far... OK, Just the Acting Cat.s

Best Actor in a Leading Role
Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson were great together and apart in In Bruges, Anton Yelchin was so inoffensively quirky and adult in Charlie Bartlett, and Robert Downey Jr. was predictably brilliant in Iron Man. But Gabe Nevins' completely drenched performance in Paranoid Park leads the pack, hands-down. "First-time actor as the main character in a non-linear dreamlike indie skater movie" SCREAMS potentially embarrassing, and it probably is, but somehow (just like for a lot of the cast of Elephant) it seemed more natural and better and it worked.

Best Actress in a Leading Role
Amy Poehler's typical comic genius luminously shone through the mediocrity of Baby Mama, Frances McDormand was dutiful and delightful in Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, Norah Jones proved she can act AND do it in an enviously lovely manner in My Blueberry Nights, and I heart Ziyi Zhang - simple as that - but she was still wonderful in the undeservedly mishandled The Banquet. But 4 Months' Anamaria Marinca has a very fair chance of keeping her #1 spot till the very end, so...

Best Actor in a Supporting Role
Ralph Fiennes managing 479 F-bombs per minute in In Bruges is awesome as f@#k, Vlad Ivanov was menacing in a double-taking way in 4 Months, Jude Law was totally endearing in My Blueberry Nights, and Danny Glover was genuine and superb in Be Kind Rewind. But David Strathairn's subtle but explosive turn as Arnie the delusional alcoholic cop in My Blueberry Nights pwns all so far, especially despite his short screentime, because he definitely leaves an impact.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role
Isla Fisher was brilliant (and not just 'for a romantic comedy') in Definitely, Maybe, Taylor Momsen was like perfect as "WTF that's HIS girlfriend?" in Paranoid Park, and though I can't decide who was better, Rachel Weisz and Natalie Portman were both excellent manifestations of heart-wrenching white trash in My Blueberry Nights. But Laura Vasiliu's distressingly air-headed center of attention in 4 Months pwns them all by a good deal. THAT is acting. (.....) What about you?

Explaining My Grading Scale, AKA:

And I'm not letting you forget it, for some reason. Anyway... here's a very basic rundown of the grading scale I use to grade films. It's been confuzzling for the longest time, so I'm gonna trying to make sense of it. Here goes nothin'...

C :: "Bleh. You Suck."
I rarely tread in the region of the scale (same goes for subsequent territory) as you all know. I've never been exactly sure why, but I'd reckon because I still view film through a glass without any imperfections... or that I don't see films I know will suck major ass as much as a lot of people. I dunno.

C+ :: "It's Not Good."
Now, this can go either way, positively or negatively, that equates to a thumbs up or a thumbs down. It's also sometimes conundrum-y, like how The Lizzie McGuire Movie is a positive one and Before the Devil Knows You're Dead is a negative one. I know, right?!

B- :: "Okay, Yeah."
Good, to an extent. A very simple grade.

B :: "Good."
Another simple one, but it only just seems like that. Sometimes it's political asylum for disappointment (The Host/Russian Ark), sometimes it's random asylum for surprise (Hot Rod/Music & Lyrics). It's probably the most frustrating grade, honestly

B+ :: "Really Good."
Simply that. Not outstanding, but enjoyable and worthwhile.

A- :: "Great."
Explanatory.

A :: "REALLY great."
Obvious.

A+ :: "OMFG."
Films so great, so moving, so vibrant, so explosive, so FUCKING INCREDIBLE that they metaphorically kicked my head in repeatedly. Sure, it's not an exclusive club per se, but I'm still seeing a lot. Or, you know:

Any questions, reverse-class?

Words cannot express how much I want that painting in material form so I can hang it over my fireplace and reminisce over better times while sipping brandy and smoking a pipe. It's sort of obsessive. I should really watch Pocahontas again soon, it's SUCH a wonderful movie...

You Watching?

Sorta.
Oh wait, it's a TWBB pun.
Go to hell.
Some major Chloe updates have been underway this morning. Atonement continues get everything else falsely(?) arrested to eliminate them. There Will Be Blood beats random competitors with a bowling pin. Paprika shape-shifts into a giant robot shouting off nonsense phrases that runs over people. Away from Her forgets why it's there, and then looks classy. And Youth Without Youth is too busy searching for the origins of language to realize that it's not getting enough nominations. Or, the usual. See for yourself!

I Guess It's Just How It Goes...

As I was watching My Blueberry Nights for the second of three times last night, I realized that Norah Jones is awesome. Like, incredibly awesome. I don't think I've ever realized that before, and after doing so, it felt weird that I hadn't. Her music is truly right up my cool breathy folk-jazz alley, and she's a surprisingly capable actress. But then it just clicked. Why?


You can guess why.

My Actual Thoughts on Wanted

Because this isn't gonna be about the hotness of James McAvoy.

Okay, I lied. *drools*

It is, perhaps, the most awesome film ever made. I can't think of any film that made me more anxiously giggly, and brain-horny too. Obviously the violence, and the supreme hotness, but also because IT GOT MORGAN FREEMAN TO SWEAR! TWICE! That alone made the film's existence acceptable. Then again, though, there are like 37 other things that made it worth my $9. Among them:

-- James McAvoy.
-- Exploding rats.
-- Angelina Jolie being kick-ass.
-- James McAvoy's eyes.
-- Terence Stamp.
-- THE ACTION SEQUENCES.
-- James McAvoy making out with Angelina Jolie, even briefly.
-- The cinematography was oddly incredible.
-- Expendable human life on a surprising and exciting level.
-- Thomas Kretschmann's accent.
-- James McAvoy + starring role.
-- That wasn't mindless, people.
-- James McAvoy.
-- A FREQUENTLY WET & SHIRTLESS James McAvoy.
-- Angelina Jolie's distressingly skinny arms.
-- Have I mentioned James McAvoy enough?

You get the point.

There is one sort of negative thing, though: I don't know why, but if Jimmy was trying to make his American accent sound like Shia LaBeouf, he was effective. Now, I like Shia and his voice (and his everything), but having my future-husband sound like him was very off-putting. But then they'd show a close-up of those incredible baby blues and I forgot about any quarrels I'd ever have with the film, and thankfully there were very few. Rating: A Seriously!

Just to warn ya'll, the second the DVD comes out, I'll bombard this place with 3000 screencaps of Mac-licious goodness. So watch out for that.

In personal news My internet is being a schizo bitch at the moment, so posting through the rest of the week will presumably be limited, if at all.

Monday Movie Meltdown, 1st Ed.

I've decided that every Monday, I'm gonna awkwardly scribble down some thoughts on the movies I watched over the past week, except those which I've already reviewed. Good idea, right? So original too, OMG.

My watching of movies this week was, like, abnormally frequent. And with an abnormal amount of excellent movies, and lots of ensemble-based ones too. And even though my ability to love films is equal to Dane Cook's ability to suck, I'm still very young compared to you and I haven't seen as much nor am I entirely cynical to film yet. Plus, my rating system is so impenetrably paradoxical it just complicates everything more. So.

Also saw Wall•E and In Bruges.

The Sweet Hereafter -- You all know my love for Academy Award Nominee Sarah Polley, Mistress of Time. But, as DL (I miss u) once said:

But for people who haven't seen The Sweet Hereafter, Go, Guinevere, My Life Without Me, The Secret Life of Words, etc., and just know her from Dawn of the Dead and now Away From Her -- you are missing out on a truly unique screen presence. She's amazing.

... I ain't that versed in her. But I'm working on it! It took me a while to pop it into the player, but I finally saw this, and it's definitely one of those instances of "Why the hell didn't you watch this earlier, you little twit?!?!" It's breathtaking, both in it's subtle visual intoxication, and it's wonderfully descriptive screenplay. Though, I'm surprised Egoyan managed to be nominated for it and his direction; they're both excellent in ways that the Academy typically doesn't recognize, you know? Still, it's perfectly acceptable. Ian Holm was magnificent, and Sarah was - of course - amazing (the deposition scene?!), but then again so is everyone else in the movie. Excellent work.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind -- Technically, this is the second time I've seen it: I was 12, and it was on HBO. I didn't actually remember any of it till I saw it again, which is a blessing, because I recall only slightly liking it. What I think of it now, though, just proves I was a fucking idiot when I was 12. I loved the fuck out of it. It's so loopy! Plus, it features awesome performances by Kate Winslet, Jim Carrey, Kirsten Dunst, Tom Wilkinson and Mark Ruffalo (pretty much everyone), mind-numbing direction, totally hot cinematography and editing, a drool-worthy soundtrack, and the warped trademark symbol of that Oscar-winning (for this OMG!) sociopath Charlie Kaufman... so, like, I cried. Actually cried. That doesn't happen very often with me. I just get misty. omg... *cries* Seriously, though, it's a perfect film in the fact it's so messy because you know that's completely the point, and it's beautiful.

Notorious -- Watching Cary Grant violently shake a beautifully drunk Ingrid Bergman in the front seat of a convertible made me explode. That's what I think of the movie. Suck it, Whitney Houston!

Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs -- After the awesomeness that was Bender's Big Score, it's not all that surprising that this isn't as good. Especially how it deals with BBS's ending (NO FUCKING END OF THE UNIVERSE) which also led me to believe that Nibbler died for nothing. Which pisses me the fuck off. But I digress. It's good in it's own right, but definitely lesser Futurama in every way. Brittany Murphy was a nice (weird) surprise, and seeing Zap half-naked with someone other than Leela or Kif was cool. Yeah.

Vertigo -- Yes, there was a Hitch marathon on TCM Friday, and I took advantage of that to the best of my ability. I've been meaning to see it for a while, because it seems to be his most lauded film all of a sudden. It's immensely deserved. I'm not sure if it tops Rear Window, but it's certainly as great. Jimmy Stewart freaking me out was fucking incredible to feel. I mean, who would've thought, right??? And Kim Novak, well... OMG! It's all amazing. Also: This makes the SIXTH Hitch I've seen!!! That's GREAT for me, because I SUCK with classic directors! I'm working on that, though. *wink*

William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet -- Baz Luhrmann must do an inhuman amount of acid, or at least is seriously disturbed, right? Because there is no way a clear-minded person can make the films he makes. Not that I'm complaining. I mean, in no possible tangent of reality was I not going to love it. In fact, it's probably a better-made film than Moulin Rouge!, perhaps because it's a less ambitious film. Despite the craziness and the whole matter of it's own existence, there was still probably some guaranteed aspect that it would work. Maybe Shakespeare's unyielding power to inspire... or OMG LEONARDO DICAPRIO + CLAIRE DANES. That might've done it. BTW, she can't act. I've figured it out. Yet that dead-eye stare does wonders for her here, oddly. And Leo was so girlishly pretty?! It was sort of scary, honestly, especially considering how buff he got.

Witness for the Prosecution -- Brilliant, cheeky, earth-shatteringly melodramatic, and genuinely entertaining? Hyperbole or not, it's still awesomely unfamiliar territory for me to venture in. It's compulsive too, you just can't look away, it's so engrossing. Charles Laughton was EXCELLENT, Elsa Lanchester was awesome, and Marlene Dietrich... I'm pretty sure this is a widely known fact (but as this is the first thing I've seen her in, forgive me) she was so fun. I'd use the word 'fierce' but I usually try to avoid sinking to that level. Incredible courtroom action too.

So how was your movie week, and what do you think of mine?