Taylor Momsen Makes Me Feel Old

As you all know, because I have it stamped on my forehead, I am 15 years old. It's not an accomplishment, and I really wish I were older already so I can yearn for my childhood instead of doing it while I'm still technically a child, but my parents just HAD to have a child so late in both their lives. Three cheers for being an accident! The territory one drowns in when you're a precocious, awkwardly-intelligent, and confused cinephilic blogger makes one continuously reminded of their age. One may still be discovering things, a lot of things, about anything, and a lot of the time they don't know how to act around people who know more things than them -- everyone else. And sometimes, I remind them of their own mortality, so they automatically write me off. I tend to become the annoying, pouting brat in the cyber-room, waiting for the perfect time to pull a tantrum.

Despite all that, Taylor Momsen makes me feel old. Pathetically so.

Sure, she's not even 5 months younger than me, but I've been SO used to every teen on TV being older than me that this new revelation is actually earth-shattering. I'm talking about Gossip Girl, naturally, and all the shit Jenny Humphrey has gotten into, but also Paranoid Park... okay, fine, I'm really talking about the sex. Duh?

I'm only six episodes into GG so far, but it's def the most toxic thing I've ever seen. I already love it more than everything else ever. I like Jenny, too. Like I said, six episodes. In the very first episode, though, my pretty little delusion breaks: She nearly gets raped by Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick, who I want to do sooooo badly). Let me clarify - she, who was most likely barely 14 at the time, almost got raped by one of the sluttiest guys in the history of television. That doesn't make me feel good. Because I REALLY wanna get laid. It probably wouldn't be a problem it weren't for my AGE. *cries*

As for PP, the same problem occurs, only I was too bewitched by the film to notice. Can someone explain how someone can have a sex scene, not only with someone as hott as Gabe Nevins, but that's shot by Christopher Doyle... when they're 13? It was filmed when she was 13. Like, when I was 13, I was too busy staring at a crack in my bedroom ceiling to do something like that. When it finally clicked this morning, I suddenly feel very sad due to my own existence. Like some grand innocence, that was hidden by the shelter of my age, has been lost forever. That's supposed to happen at some point, right? I mean, it better. Because I'm pissed. I liked the innocence!

In conclusion, to Taylor, who is younger than I: Back off, bitch.

Demi Lovato is My New Great Love

The Perfect Pick-Me-Up

Seriously, I don't care if it's the result of years of careful stalking, Jimmy WILL be my husband someday. It doesn't hurt that Penelope is a very lovely movie, and a fitting relation to Ella Enchanted, one of my faves. But I'm too busy looking into Jimmy's eyes to care, really. Sigh...

Note

Due to some very important events in my personal life, I am not able to do the MMM today. Not only that, but I saw a lot in the past week and it was taking me a long time anyway. Hopefully, I'll have it posted tomorrow. In the mean time, this afternoon I put up a poll in the sidebar that asks of all the films I saw in that time, which was the best? I hope to do one every week. It seems like some weeks will be obvious, but a lot of them might be entertaining, to say the least. Right?

ETA: The "events" have proven to be too diverting for me to do the MMM this week, which, of course, sucks. :( Maybe I'll put a few of them in next week's, like I've done before. Le sigh. Sorry.

Omigawd, The House Bunny

I have some things to say.

Anna Faris is a comedic GOD, if you ask me. Not since Judy Holliday has one been able to turn the "dumb blonde" stereotype on its head like she can. The Scary Movies, Lost in Translation, and especially Smiley Face are endlessly hilarious whenever she's on screen (which, for the latter, is ALL her). So, of course, this movie excited me. She's headlining! Plus, "from the screenwriters of Legally Blonde" didn't hurt, considering I would sometimes give them Adapted Screenplay for 2001. I know.

But... there's a major problem. Shelley is essentially not much more than a watered-down version of what she can do so reliably (and brilliantly). It made my brain sad. Of course, she has her moments, but it's rarely as memorable as Cindy or Jane. This is the problem: What if it doesn't get better from here? What if her career continues down this kind of path, and perhaps it escalates downward, until she turns into a Meg Ryan wannabe? These are the things that haunt me. I could barely sleep last night! I don't know if that was her fault, but I couldn't! :-\

Another problem I had (with the film, not her) was the soundtrack. They're all very, very new songs - some of them probably weren't even made yet when they finished shooting! - and they don't work. They're all so nonsensically placed. Each time a new one came up, even if it's a song I LOVE, I audibly groaned. It was oddly disillusioning.

Now, good things. I actually really liked it! Didn't see that coming, did ya? It's wonderfully enjoyable, and if I weren't so attached to Anna, I'm sure I would've enjoyed it more. It's very funny, and the cast is uniformly good. I especially loved Emma Stone, because I always feel for the clueless nerds. Plus, she had a crush on TYSON RITTER! What's a boy to do, huh? Kat Dennings, too. And I couldn't believe that Beverly D'Angelo was in this, and as the head bitch, no less. Katherine McPhee was actually fairly good! Seriously, some of her best moments are better than Faris' worst(!!!). I also wanna mention Owen Benjamin, who played Marvin, but it's mainly because he's insanely cute (the nipple thing? *drool*).

The film's shallowness is also a problem, but a rather minor one. It's way too frequent and over-bearing for the ultimate "message" scenes to sink in entirely, which is unfortunate, because they involve butt cheeks.

So, for Anna's sake, it's definitely disappointing. But as a stand-alone film, it's somewhat perfect for those lazy, popcorn-abundant days.

VD Grade: ★★★ (out of five)

"Finish It..." Pt. 1

Hey ev'rybody, Chloe here. Last week, J.D. posted his Top Ten, and therefore Best Picture. That pissed me the freak off. This is MY show, you slut! Ugh, nvrmnd. No point in crying over spilt SLUTITUDE.

Anywayz, I might as well finish it. It, like, needs to be. I took some of his manuscripts and tweaked them with my usual awesome bitchery. Ugh, I love me.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role
Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men
Paul Dano, There Will Be Blood
Hal Holbrook, Into the Wild
Tommy Lee Jones, No Country for Old Men
Tom Wilkinson, Michael Clayton
Definitely one of the strongest years in a while for one of the most consistently underwhelming categories. I really wanted to nominate Max von Sydow, but I couldn't find room for him (read: Paul Dano was way too crazy to kick off). Holbrook was the driving force behind Into the Wild not being horrible, and he was touching in a truly transcendent way. Wilkinson gave a very intriguing (and wonderfully hammy as hell) performance, and Jones was flat-out brilliant.

But do I really need to say who wins? I could make a coin toss pun right now, but I have standards, thank you very much.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role
Juliette Binoche, Paris, Je T'aime
Romola Garai, Atonement
Vanessa Redgrave, Atonement
Saoirse Ronan, Atonement
Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton
Since I figured segregating limited and cameo performances was a really stupid idea and now they're just add-ons (like Young Actor and Actress), I decided to reintegrate them into the supporting categories. I also ruled Breaking & Entering ineligible for 2007, but La Binoche didn't lose her rightful nom! Place des Victoires was easily my favorite segment of the movie, and she was the best part of it. Margo Martindale can go to HELL. Much to my dismay, though, I had to get rid if Jennifer Garner and Emily Mortimer, which sucks an incredible amount, so I could manage all three Brionys. I always think I was underwhelmed by Ronan's performance, but whenever I edit this category she always jumps for the ceiling. I think it was just her unexpected, psychopathic coldness that delayed my love. Redgrave, on the other hand, blends her decades of experience as an actor, the importance or her segment, and cues from Saoirse (!!!) into arguably the most emotional and masked performance of the year. Then there's Tilda. Reliable, inhuman, exuberantly amazing Tilda.

Of course, though, the winner is Romola Garai. She gave the best performance of 2007, and I've never really been shy about saying that. No one comes close. The staggering emotional depth, the wise and terrified glances. She's a person in transition between the jealous child and the sage-like authoress, and we see Briony's flaws so brightly. And Garai never fails.

Best Actor in a Leading Role
Casey Affleck, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
James McAvoy, Atonement
Ulrich Mühe, The Lives of Others
Gordon Pinsent, Away from Her
McAvoy showed his superb talent through some pretty blazing angst, and yet, I have yet to get over how fucking HOT he looked. Shallow, sure, but it's a great performance, too. Pinsent kept up with his "better half" very equally, and was robbed of the attention she got. Mühe (RIP) was as subtle as one can get (well, he was close), but that just allowed him to show everything right and wrong with what he was doing more thoroughly. And Casey Affleck (who was also seriously great in Gone Baby Gone as well) truly shone through and became 1000x a better actor than his brother with one performance. But no matter how many times I try to give him the award...

...Daniel always beats him mercilessly to death with the Chloe itself. It isn't really a bad thing, though I'd really love to give it to Casey... but I can't. *sigh*

Best Actress in a Leading Role
Julie Christie, Away from Her
Marion Cotillard, La Vie en Rose
Laura Linney, The Savages
Wei Tang, Lust, Caution
Carice van Houten, Black Book
Belén Rueda and Ellen Page literally just missed the cut, but I couldn't stand to refuse The Lovely Laura Linney her rightful spot any longer. Tang and van Houten are so awesomely interchangeable. Of course, they're the sexy naked WWII spy things of both movies, but it's really because they're both extremely brilliant and I can't decide which performance is really better. If I lean to one, I lean to the other.

But the ultimate fight that never seems to end - Christie vs. Cotillard - is oddly one-side, because La Marion always seem to win it. Her Piaf is a more defining than Christie's Fiona, and whether it's just an imitation or not, it's one of the most lived-in, breathing and truly felt performances I've ever seen. It's beautiful. But Christie won't back down, so maybe in the future, she'll be the winner. Or maybe I'll just declare it a tie, because that's probably more true than giving it to either of them.

So, there are the Chloes for the best acting of 2007. What do you think?

My Mosaic

Many thanks to Kayleigh for posting this fun little picture-themed meme.

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page, pick an image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

But first, my answers:

1. What is your first name? Joseph.
2. What is your favourite food? Grilled cheese.
3. What high school did you go to? (didn't/don't go, so) n/a.
4. What is your favorite color? Midnight blue.
5. Who is your celebrity crush? James McAvoy.
6. Favorite drink? Chocolate milk.
7. Dream vacation? Paris.
8. Favorite dessert? Brownies.
9. What do you want to be when you grow up? A film director!
10. What do you love most in life? The sunrise.
11. One word to describe you. Weird.
12. Your Flickr name. (I don't have one, so I just typed) J.D.

Now, the masterpiece of moi...

Random as fuck, right? So it looks about right. All it's missing is Pikachu. LOL, I sorta can't believe the leg chick came up. Or the guy and girl with the inner tubes. Or Cristian Mungiu. The #3 pic is WONDERFULLY perfect, and that picture of Paris is so beautiful, isn't it? Ugh. ♥

I don't know if I'm supposed to tag anyone, but I'll tag Hayden, Fox, Mark, and Vera for good measure. And anyone else who wishes to do it, of course. And because he came up and I'm nice:

I think that would be my vote for the greatest picture ever taken. OMFG.

Conversational Japanese

You may be wondering what those two have to do with each other.

So am I.

In fact, I wonder about a lot of things. Does my fear of overachieving lead to me never achieving anything at all? Why must the constant reminders of my youth poison any chance I have of being happy? Why the hell didn't I watch Gossip Girl when it started? Does this post even have a point?

We may never know... *cue Bernard Herrmann*

Random Awesome Video of the Week

I never thought of it before, but Muse can be a damn good accompanist to Kill Bill. Major props to darhos for making this video so awesomely. Also check out his vids of V for Vendetta and Children of Men.

Messy Psychosis is the New Bitch

This past April, when I saw Southland Tales, I felt so absolutely confused over what I saw. It was so dizzying, so frantic, so mind-blowingly EVERYTHING that I couldn't come to a final decision on a grade. I felt so strongly that it was either the greatest movie I've ever seen or the worst that I couldn't decide what I actually felt. Well, why am I bringing this up?

Tropic Thunder is the new Southland Tales.

In a film starring practically everyone on earth (even Helen Mirren! well, sort of) that's an obvious satire of Hollywood and filmmaking and the traits of actors and famous people in general, it's just... just... GAH! I can't even finish that sentence. It's psychotic. That's what it is - certifiably psychotic. I felt like I was being brain-raped. I was simultaneously laughing my ass off and feeling distressingly uncomfortable about what the frak they were doing. Everything was fucking hilarious, though. Even *gasp* Tom Cruise. Seriously, just, UGH.

Oh well, it'll probably end up with a 3½/5. But it's still psychotically bonkers. Also, I want Satan's Alley to become a feature. NOW.

Monday Movie Meltdown, 5th Ed.

I've decided that every Monday(s), I'm gonna awkwardly scribble down some thoughts on the movies I watched over the past week, except those which I've already reviewed. Good idea, right? So original too, OMG.

Holy cow, this is such a nothing week. I fricking only saw TWO new movies! Ugh. I hope you don't mind me posting this early; I'm in a blogging dry spell, and I have nothing else to do. I also saw Insane Rachel Weisz Movie Directed by Her Baby Daddy, Sad Rachel Weisz Movie That GAVE Her A 6 lb. Golden Baby, and MACHINE GUN LEG: The Half-Movie Movie.

Pineapple Express -- LMFAO! This movie is an enigma wrapped in joint surrounded by a cloud of high-pitched giggles. It's an ageless love story disguised as a buddy movie, with explosions and shenanigans the likes of which you'll never see again, because they're uniquely bizarre. Even when it's not pandering (successfully) for laughs, when it's building plot, it's throughly interesting. And then something blows up, and I can't breathe again. James Franco and Seth Rogen are great, and have peculiarly excellent chemistry, even - no - ESPECIALLY when it got really, really gay. ROSIE PEREZ, OMG!?!

Autumn Sonata -- GOOD GOD. I can't imagine how anyone could have survived making this without going through a major psychological breakdown, because I think I'm going through one now just from WATCHING it. Just like Fanny & Alexander and The Seventh Seal, I identified and created a bond with it in ways that would be insanely complicated to explain, so much so that I'm probably never going there... so I was fucking impressed. Ingrid Bergman and Liv Ullmann, the goddesses of Sweden and two of the greatest actresses of all time, are a sight to behold. The way they play off each other and forge their characters as a true mother and daughter act is almost unbelievable, and completely wrenching. Ullmann's screaming tirades and cold manipulatory stance against her eternal villain shook me to my very core in ways I can't recall feeling. And Bergman, as that villain, beautifully and tragically plays the flawed woman pining for love and ending up with more like it were a simple concerto, but she shows off as much as she can. They both give two of the greatest performances I've ever seen, and I'm giving Ullmann the edge. Exhaustive, pensive drama at it's immaculate best. I absolutely freaking loved it.

*Time to take my pills now!*
So how was your movie week? Was it better than mine? I mean, it probably was. At least in quantity. Quality-wise, I think this is one of my best ever, actually! Suffering and awesomeness galore! Whee!

Love. At Any Cost.

Last night, I figured I should post something, because I haven't been doing that, but I couldn't think of anything to post, so I became frustrated. It was then that I noticed I haven't watched a movie since TUESDAY. If Netflix weren't on the fritz right now, that would probably be different, but it might be my fault too. So I diverted my attention to watching a movie. Now, to decide on a movie. I usually have a pile of DVDs sitting next to the TV in case I'm bored enough to re-watch something. And what was at the top last night? The Constant Gardener. I've seen it, like, a thousand times, but thinking about it, I hadn't seen in a while.

So I watched it. And it's better than I remembered?

I mean, I was a major, major fan of it already, but I guess I forgot it's effect on me. Meirelles' visual imagery seemed so new to me, like I was watching it for the first time. It was amazing, actually. Yet, despite that, I immediately recognized a good deal of the dialogue before it was said. I found myself reciting, in time, Tessa's introductory rant at Justin! I want to mention Alberto Iglesias' score, which I apparently thought wasn't deserving of it's random Oscar nomination, because it actually did. 2005 was just WAY too good a year for scores, I'm telling ya. It's scary.

But the penultimate thought that came to my mind is that Rachel Weisz deserves her Oscar more than anyone else EVER. Okay, maybe not ever, but at the very least she's the most deserving of the decade. Maybe a little because she was never at the top of anyone's "Definitely Gonna Win an Oscar" list, but really because she's absolutely incredible. Every line reading, every movement, every smile, every frown, everything within her performance is perfect. As for claims of category fraud, I genuinely consider her supporting. She's the blood and the arteries of the film -- she gives the film life, and then influences it more than anything else. And that influence literally supports Justin's actions and Ralph Fiennes' performance, indeed throughout the whole movie. He really deserved some attention, btw. And an Oscar alongside Rachel's, but there ain't a lot I can do about that now, is there? *sigh*

One thing I couldn't stop thinking of during the movie was the tagline: "Love. At any cost." It's two separate sentences. Without a comma or anything. Like they're two separate subjects altogether...?! Yeah, now I think it's paralleling the romance and the conspiracy. That's really it: their relationship and the globe-trotting struggle.

One could easily interpret that Tessa was only using Justin's access for her own gain, and at first it was probably like that. But she genuinely cared for him, and I can't doubt that she loved him. In all her secretive work, she was trying to protect him from, to let him keep his natural views of his country, and leave him to his flowers with some peace of mind. Unfortunately, he became drowned in her mysteries, and he actually tried to swim up with them. He couldn't let his wife's burden down even if he tried. He loved her, and he wasn't going to stop what she wasn't able to finish, it was the right thing. And in the end, the truth came out, while Justin and Tessa Quayle watched from the banks of Lake Turkana, content with what they've done... together.

OMFG, I love this movie so much.

VD Grade: ★★★★½ (out of five)

VD's Top Ten Films of 2007

Yes, you read that correctly! It's finally happening! It's probably more anti-climactic than anything I've ever done, but you'll have to decide on that yourselves.

Anyway.

I love 2007. There are so many genuinely great films, with a fair share of surprises and disappointmentss, like any year. But this year was special: I GOT NETFLIX. I can say with pride that I wouldn't have seen HALF of what I saw if it weren't for the glorious red envelopes. Thanks, Netflix! Kick-ass!!

So, without further a-due, Valley Dreaming's Official, Though Not Definitively Final, But Still Close Enough To Be Presentable, And, Like, I Mean, It's August, And I Really Probably Should've Announced These By Now, So Here Are My Top Ten Films of 2007...

10. Michael Clayton

9. Black Book

8. Ratatouille

7. Away from Her

6. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

And my nominees for the Best Motion Picture of the Year are...

5. Youth Without Youth

4. The Lives of Others

3. Paprika

2. There Will Be Blood

And my favorite film of the year...
...AKA the tragic period romance movie of the year...
(...because I've decided that that's my stereotype...)

1. Atonement
Anti-climactic, right? You know you love it, though. So, how'd I do?

Do you remember Moses Morales? The Mayan guide I told you about? The last night I was with him, he told me about his father, who had died. Well, Moses wouldn't believe it. No, no. Listen, listen. He said that if they dug his father's body up, it would be gone. They planted a seed over his grave. The seed became a tree. Moses said his father became a part of that tree. He grew into the wood, into the bloom. And when a sparrow ate the tree's fruit, his father flew with the birds. He said... death was his father's road to awe. That's what he called it. "The road to awe." Now, I've been trying to write the last chapter and I haven't been able to get that out of my head!

I'm not afraid anymore, Tommy.

Monday Movie Meltdown, 4th Garbo Ed.

I've decided that every Monday(s), I'm gonna awkwardly scribble down some thoughts on the movies I watched over the past week, except those which I've already reviewed. Good idea, right? So original too, OMG.

Welcome to the busiest and most awesomely lopsided MMM yet! Featuring more films watched on TCM than on DVD or something else! That's never happened! EVER! I half-can't believe I'm actually doing one this week! They seem so isolated! Exclamation! This week's thoughts are incredibly fractured, rushed, half-baked, what have you. It's trainwreck-y at some points, I think! I can't avoid that mark, can I! I mean, "?"! GAH! I have no self-esteem.

Anna Christie -- If you haven't guessed already, I lost my Garbo virginity last week. It ended up being an orgy, but more on that later. Weirdly enough, I started with her first talkie. So the first time I heard her deep, iconic voice was the first time anyone did! How apt. She's very wonderful as Anna. Sadly, the movie isn't. It's positively dull from start to finish, and I can't think of any significantly good things in it outside of Garbo's performance. Yet, her presence makes everything else worth it, and she truly elevates it. She really does.

Caesar and Cleopatra -- My impulse watch of this was fueled by two things: Claude Rains (I really like him), and because Robert Osborne said that the filmmakers apparently attempted to make it "the British Gone with the Wind." That's very inaccurate, not only because it isn't, but because Atonement is the British Gone with the Wind. Dunkirk = Burning of Atlanta, duh. Anyway... I sort of loved it? It's so technicolor-y! And the performances of Rains and the incomparable Vivien Leigh are great. And "Ftatateeta" is the funniest damn thing I've ever heard, especially the way Leigh speaks it. It's really good, and underseen, I guess. I probably wouldn't recommend it, but I enjoyed it in some really odd ways.

The Miracle Worker -- I've never seen it, and I'm really confused why I never have. It checks so many boxes on the "J.D. Loves" list! It's a performance showcase, a psychological horror film, disabilities, and it has a tear-jerking inspirational message that's bogged down in negatively and despair! Plus, it has CHILD BEATING. (!!!) It's morbidly entertaining, and definitely one of the best films I've seen. Really, it is!

Queen Christina -- The MVP of this unbelievable week. It'll probably end up as a comfort food movie for me. Every single second was exuberantly palatable. I usually love when people epically romanticize things, but this is a whole new frontier. GARBO. GARBO. My god. I think I have a new hero now. I have never seen an actress do what she did, not even Cate Blanchett (total rip-off, btw). This has also cemented my love for the Kingdom of Sweden. Yay, Sweden! I love you, Sweden! Seriously, marry me. Please? Holy hell, I just proposed to a country. LOL! I need to lay off the tequila. Tee-hee.

Ninotchka -- One of the finest comedies I've ever seen, by far. I didn't love it exactly as much as Queen Christina, but performance-wise, this might be the better of the two. Garbo's monotone sternness is done with such careful, intricate detail that would be extremely hard for an actress of any age to accomplish with as much conviction. Then after the tagline's arrival ("Garbo Laughs!"), it's all levity and wonderment. Ninotchka is really an excellent character in the first place, but it's all Garbo nonetheless. An absolutely delightful and meaningful film.

The Story of Qiu Ju -- Instead of watching the fantastic Opening Ceremonies of the XXIX Olympiad, I watched this. Without even realizing it, I was replacing Zhang Yimou with... Zhang Yimou. Except this had Gong Li! She's always a big plus. It's a very, very, very, very slow film, designed as a docudrama, about stubborn people and modern China. Gong is obviously great. There's no big scene for her, though, it's just subtlety after subtlety, but she's an actress who can deal with that just fine. Zhang's direction is beautiful - if I wasn't convinced he make make the pace of a film practically comatose and have it still be exhilarating, I am now.

The Wings of the Dove -- Totally gorgeous. From the people, to the photography, to the costumes and sets, and the story itself. It's enrapturing, and it's always nice to feel a film command your thoughts and attention, even with such alluring sirens as Eduardo Serra and Helena Bonham Carter (minus a rat's nest).

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay -- I can't decide whether it's better than the first one or not. They're both so fucking awesome! I especially love how they covertly turn the shenanigans of two stoners into a scathing indictment of our times. And the cherry on the bong, NPH, will never stop making it a-may-zing.

Dick Tracy -- It was... colorful. Very bright, and ridiculous. And annoying. And no one seemed like they were actually trying... except Madonna, weirdly enough. Storaro was robbed. That's really all I got.

So, how was your week? Are you watching to Olympics? How's Pineapple Express? I haven't seen it yet. Are you as pumped for Star Wars: The Clone Wars as I am?! I probably shouldn't have said that. ...awkward...

A Weird-Ass Thought I Had This Morning

Planet Terror is actually a prequel to Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind.

I know that's just my obsession, but hear me out. In Nausicaä, the legends of old stated that humanity brought on its own destruction for reasons probably based on vengeance and war. The same happened in Terror. So maybe the Seven Days of Fire was actually the zombie plague? We don’t know how bad it was between the MACHINEGUNLEG-filled climax at the base and the epilogue. Perhaps the infected evolved over time into giant god-creatures and fossilized into the earth. At least 5 would’ve had to. The portions of humanity that remained would be disparate at best, like Cherry’s group. They settled against the ocean in Mexico, and presumably survived very well. And one can be safe in presuming that over a thousand years, the plates of the continents could be dramatically different. Maybe it could've become a valley...?

IDK. That's just the way my mind works. BTW, for the LAMB's MOTM, I think I'm just gonna submit the Nausicaä label instead of an actual review. I'm never gonna be able to say what I've ever wanted to say about it in just one thing, and it's a good chunk of the blog anyway, LOL.

If you haven't noticed, I am a very sick boy. *cough, cough* In fact, I have a charity -- The "People Love Me" Fund. Please donate today!

Am I Scaring You Tonight?

I'm absolutely fucking obsessed with Rihanna's "Disturbia". I'm sorry, but I am. It's such an amazing song, and even more amazing video. Except... not on TV? I don't know, this morning, it was on VH1, and it just didn't feel right at all. It sounded faster and more rushed, and the vid's awesome visuals felt drenched. Weird. I really just wanted to say that, and to say I'm still here! I've just been out of the blogging loop because I've been watching TCM more often. That's not a non sequitur. You'll see tonight tomorrow in the MMM, I promise. So what's up with you ppl?

An Announcement from Ms. Sevigny

Hello, everyone. Is this angle good? It feels fun. Anyway, I have an announcement to make. It has to deal with the Chloes, of course. Why else would I be talking on J.D.'s blog? He hasn't even seen Boys Don't Cry, that douchenozzle.

Oh, right, the announcement: The FreeWebs site has been voided. J.D. has realized that it is a very stupid idea, and it takes way more time than it has any right to be because it takes a while to write things for him. The same thing happened last year. He's an idiot. (Stick to the cue cards!) Fuck the cue cards! :-P

Okay, so, basically what he wants to do is to announce them here at VD within like the next week, which isn't a bad idea. He doesn't know how he's gonna do it, but don't worry, I'm helping him. ;-) (I hate you.) Suck it. (Oh, like you did to Vinny?) That's it - you die now! *throws circular-thing at camera*

15 minutes later. Okay that was kinda uncalled for, and I apologize. Everybody (Here. *hands her wig back*) Thanks. Okay, um... *picks up a cue card* Oh, right. Forget everything on the site pages, too, since there are some changes in the nominations, and some complete shake-ups. He would also like me to say that the prolonging is especially stupid since it would just be an announcement and NOT an absolutely permanent thing, so... he's an idiot. (You're a c*nt.) Oh shut up, you're still a good lay. :-D

Frick

Okay, so for the second time in three weeks, I can't manage an MMM. I have a headache and the words aren't flowing. I'm really sorry, people, but my brain's not in it. All I can do is a shortened, unofficial, blurb-whore edition.

• The Shop on Main Street was weird, but ultimately incredible.
• Gilda was absolutely amazing, especially Hayworth.
• Hellboy II: The Golden Army was awesome as hell.
• My Neighbors the Yamadas was wonderfully charming.
• Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle was BRILLIANT.

Does that suffice? (...) Oh, it doesn't? (...) Well... frick. Can y'all be especially interactive this week in the comments section? To make up for my incompetence? Talk your week in movies, my week in movies, Pineapple Express, the Olympics, François Truffaut, anything.

LOL, that's sort of cute.

VD's First Oscar Predictions of the Year!

And they're absolutely bonkers! Well, that's to be expected. It's August, and I'm a crazy person! LOL, I've always loved the word "bonkers".

Best Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams, Doubt
Penélope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis, Doubt
Taraji P. Henson, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frances McDormand, Burn After Reading
It's a very weird line-up, I think. For whatever reason, Cruz seems to be the frontrunner, which either means this will be a weak year or just a quirky one. Henson seems to have a great role, so why not. She's very underrated. Adams is basically a filler at this point, with all the buzz going to Davis, who'll probably actually get a nom, even if she has much less screentime. She's probably one of the most due in any of the races this year. McDormand is just me having a bit of fun. Wouldn't it rock for her to be nominated for another Co-Bros movie?

Best Actor in a Supporting Role
Jamie Bell, Defiance
Josh Brolin, Milk
Robert Downey Jr., The Soloist
Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Kodi Smit-McPhee, The Road
Ledger is an unparalleled lock, no doubt about it. Josh Brolin, especially post-No Country, seems incredibly easy to guess. His role definitely doesn't hurt. Downey Jr.'s might end up being a Body of Work nod, and with the other two being purely popcorn blockbusters, the prestige picture directed by Joe Wright (*sob*) seems to be it. Smit-McPhee is my child acting bias, mixed with an urgent need to make up for my lack of predicting The Road. Don't you dare ask me why I predicted Jamie Bell. I'll probably answer "Billy Elliot."

Best Actress in a Supporting Role
Emily Blunt, The Young Victoria
Sally Hawkins, Happy-Go-Lucky
Angelina Jolie, Changeling
Meryl Streep, Doubt
Kate Winslet, Revolutionary Road
Streep, Jolie and Winslet (def. less concretely) are locks. Sally Hawkins seems like one, at least to me. She isn't though, and I realize that, but she's so damn cute and annoying and British in the trailer! And everyone now and then, we Americans can't help but to fall in love with a cute, annoying, British chick. EmBlu is turning into wishful thinking, sadly. It's already August, and we still have nothing. And wasn't it supposed to come out in September at one point? So 2009 doesn't seem out of the question. Boo.

Best Actor in a Leading Role
Leonardo DiCaprio, Revolutionary Road
Hugh Jackman, Australia
Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn, Milk
Brad Pitt, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
I seriously don't buy Button as an awards contender, or a box office anything for that matter. It seems WAY too out there for AMPAS and the public at large. Why did Warner give Fincher so much anyway? Well, despite that, I have this weird little faith in Brad Pitt's performance (along with Henson's) being recognized. It could easily not happen, and it could happen for Burn After Reading, but I doubt that. Penn as Harvey Milk is worthy bait perfected. Langella is overdue, and plays Richard Nixon in the movie version of a play he won a Tony for. DiCaprio could win. And Jackman... well, I can't see Kidman getting nominated, but for some reason I can see him instead. He's a great actor unfairly wrapped in a comic book franchise, and this could truly be his breakout (OMG Miley).

Best Picture of the Year
Australia
Changeling
Doubt
Milk
Revolutionary Road
In order: Fanboy, Eastwood, Broadway, biopic, novel. Nothing more needs to be said, at least now. Well, what do you think? And what are yours?