Bung, Marry, Push Off a Cliff (Fun!)

Anahita was handing out free tags to do this, and I thought "Why not? I haven't posted in a while, and ESPECIALLY haven't posted a lot of hotness in a while." So there ya go. Thank me later. Rules!

1) Comment to this and I will give you 3 people.
2) Post this meme with your answers.
3) Provide pictures and the names of 3 people.
4) Label which you would marry, shag, and throw off a cliff.

She tagged me with Robert Pattinson, Zac Efron and James Franco, and honestly, if you couldn't see how I put them then you don't know me at all. Which makes me wonder why you're here. QUIT FOLLOWING ME!!!

Ahem. Anyway:

BUNG
James Franco
And then some.

MARRY
Zac Efron
OH MY FUCKING GOD, DUH.

CLIFF
Robert Pattinson
To be honest, I would bone him sometimes, but the majority of the time he's a disgusting, greasy-haired wanker. I miss Cedric Diggory. :(
Anyway, yeah. Anyone else want to do this? I got a load of guys I'd love to see interpreted by y'all. Plus, it makes more excuses for looking at pics of hot guys! WHO WOULDN'T LIKE THAT? *sees no hands raised, smiles*

So, the Trailer for Taking Woodstock

Sorry for not posting for the billionth time. Blah blah. Blah.

Anyway, tonight (last night?), the trailer for Ang Lee's Taking Woodstock premiered during Important Things with Demetri Martin, apparently. Of course, the one night I don't watch it (I watched a movie instead) something like this happens. Argh. But thank god for the internet...


Damn it, that's kind of underwhelming, isn't it? I mean, I knew it was, like, an era-dramedy and stuff, but it just... doesn't seem right. Probably because it doesn't seem, well, gay enough for my tastes. One of the main reasons I'm anticipating it more than almost any other film this year is that it's about a closeted gay guy in the midst of fucking WOODSTOCK, man. God I love the late '60s. (And anything homo-ish.) I mean, isn't that what it is/supposed to be? I'm really hoping (and betting on) that the trailer was just made to not make it overt, because it would turn some people off or some shit, and that it's not a REALLY accurate representation of what the film will be. I mean, it wouldn't be the first time, right? And it doesn't seem to be in the real forefront like, say, Milk or Brokeback whereas it'd be unavoidable. I just wish they hadn't avoided it. :(

Though Liev Schreiber in drag - halfway there, I must say. Also, Imelda Staunton (with, like, little if any dialogue in it), pretty much makes up for all this?! She was AWESOME. FYC Supporting Actress, anyone?

Which reminds me... is it just me, or does Focus have the weirdest line-up this year? They have this, Sam Mendes' Away We Go and Jim Jarmusch's The Limits of Control - all from notable directors and all coming out before September. Except for Woodstock, they seem like odd gets for the studio, tbh. And, like, do they even have anything for Oscar season? This just seems... odd. How unrelated.

Summation: I love you, Demetri, and please get sexy with a lot of guys. ♥

And ever since Milk - because before that it wasn't really much - I think my love for Emile Hirsch can't stop skyrocketing. Yum, yum, YUM. Ahem.

A Hopefully Non-Threatening Reminder

Just to inform everyone - at least everyone in the U.S. - F.W. Murnau's Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans ...I prefer the title with the subtitling... will be on TCM tonight @ midnight EST. Why am I bringing it up? Because every person on the face of the earth should see it. I saw it for the first time last year (August I think?) and it seriously blew me the FUCK away. Like, it's possible to argue it as the greatest film ever made. SERIOUSLY. If you haven't seen it, I IMPLORE you (hehehehe) to watch it or record it or something. Or get it from Netflix! OMG THEY HAVE IT ON NETFLIX NOW! They didn't before. It was in a Murnau box set that came out a couple months ago! YAY FOR GOD! So you really have no excuse to witness the infinitely historically important Oscar-winning GLORY that is Sunrise.

...if you haven't seen it. Because, tbh, it's such an notable and well-known film among cinephiles that there's a good chance you HAVE seen it. Well, whatever, see it again. Why not! It's not like multiple viewings of it would hurt. In fact.

I COMMAND YE.
Um. I'm not sure what that means.

Anyway, watch it.

Making Love to a Box Set

I got a fair deal of birthday money this year from self-distanced family members who really don't care enough to do more than send a check. Not that I'm complaining - I mean, who doesn't like money! I had a shortlist of things I desperately wanted, so everything will work out. Anyway, why bring this up? Because I got something today with teh $$$ I think you should know about.

It should be obvious from the pic at the top, but whatever.

I HAVE THE FIVE DISC FANNY AND ALEXANDER CRITERION SET, BITCHES.

It's... GLORIOUS. Just to look at. Staring. Staring for all eternity. The three different parts - the theatrical version, the television version, and the documentary The Making of Fanny & Alexander - are all brilliantly designed. Orgasmically. Stills. So many stills. And red. And yellow. And gray. And I still have a slight crush on Bertil Guve. I JUST WANT TO MARRY IT. MARRY IT AND HAVE IT'S CHILDREN. SO MANY CHILDREN.

I... need to go take my pills.

*hyperventilates*

I'm just so obsessed with the film. You all know this. Remember my review? Well, you probably don't. It was probably the pinnacle of my actual writing work, and as I've established before no one really cares for my writing work. ANYWAY. I love F&A so much and it's probably the greatest film ever made. So DEAL WITH IT.

[/needs to stop writing passion plays]

Rest in peace, Natasha.

I'll Find Another Way

I love Girls Aloud. Ugh. So, I haven't posted in OVER a week. That's so awesome. I'm so awesome. The world is so awesome!

Stop self-degrading, J.D. Hah. ANYWAY. I was also trying to do something earlier - on Monday - for a post that obviously didn't work out (older readers may know what I'm alluding to), but I managed to salvage something. It's a review-ish thing of Julian Jarrold's Brideshead Revisited, which I saw last week. I figured since I haven't been doing anything here in a while that I might as well post it. It's quite loud, too!

My first thoughts were a resounding "WTF? Why on earth was this so goddamn baiting?" Practically everything in the film - the costumes, art direction, cinematography, editing, score, the way the story is 'handled,' even the performances - all scream "GIVE US AWARDS!!!" to the point where you're scratching your head, wondering why it's being so presumptuous. Now, if it were the Miramax of the mid-late '90s under the tyrannical control of Harvey Weinstein, I could see this screaming not going to waste. Then again, even for him, the film would have to be good, or even enjoyable (probably meaning Chocolat), whatsoever for him to work his touch. So yes, the film blows. It's major weakness is, like I said, the obviously pointless and unsuccessful cloud of awards-whoring that SWARMS everything - but that's a starting place. It's a ridiculous, mishandled mess that doesn't make as much sense as it thinks it does. Characters and events of supposed importance aren't given explanations for their being in the story. The ensemble almost uniformly doesn't help. Matthew Goode is just bland. Sexy blandness, mind you, but Ryder isn't supposed to be JUST eye candy, and it feels like no one told him this. Ben Whishaw as the closeted alcoholic Sebastian probably isn't as bad as he could be, but he isn't really that good. Which reminds me - one of my biggest problems was the relationship between them and how it baffling it was. I can't judge from how well the novel and the original mini-series handle it, but literally throughout the film, they teeter back and forth in and out of love without even trying to explain they were in the first place - IF THEY WERE AT ALL. It is just too confusing to measure. Whatever subtext is there is confused and muffled, and of course the two actors do nothing to help. And Hayley Atwell?! She can't possibly be worse in anything than she was in Cassandra's Dream, but she was so damn ridiculous, and strangely histrionic. Ironically the one time she was probably meant to be ridiculous - The Duchess - she actually managed an rather good, coherent performance. What the hell is wrong with that girl? Now, not everyone sucked. Of course I'm talking about Emma Thompson, who, despite being thoroughly let down by the film around her, manages to be strong and commanding and kind of great. But let down by the film, let me reiterate. Finally, let it be said that between this and Becoming Jane (which I rather liked but it's SUCH a Pride & Prejudice rip-off), Julian Jarrold is an unoriginal, laud-hungry hack who should either take a step back and self-criticize his techniques or crawl into a cave and fade away from memory.

I love hating stuff, tho it rarely happens. It's so much fun! In other news:

Oh. MY. GOD.
I'M NOT SURE WHICH TO BE MORE EXCITED ABOUT?! I mean, I've seen The Seventh Seal, and it's readily available already to anyone who wants to see it (unlike Marienbad - grumbles), but LOOK AT THAT COVER ART?! And come on, it's gotta be so bleakly gorgeous in Blu as to rot your mind in medieval existential ecstasy.

But Last Year at Marienbad has eluded me (and probably lots of others) for so long that I'm REALLY ecstatic for that. Except that the cover seems... nothing. Like, embossed. That's it. Isn't it supposed to be filled to the brim with gorgeous shots or something? Well I don't doubt Criterion's judgment in choosing it. They're so on the ball most of the time (like on the right!) that any underwhelming art isn't so important.

Hm, any other random news? ... I can't come up with anything. Oh! Maybe. Tonight's Gossip Girl was strange to say the least? Like, can anyone explain Chuck's subplot to me? Leighton Meester was fucking awesome tonight though. Then again, when isn't she? Sigh. That girl deserves all the Emmys in the world, but she'll never get them. :(

And, um...

I'm probably gonna get shot for that, but it's relevant AND the truth. And James is probably the only one who knows why. I mean, seriously, DO YOU watch the show? Thought not. Ugh. Ooh, speaking of him, don't forget to check out his Top Ten of 2008, which he posted yesterday!

And if you think mid-March is late, wait till you see mine! Which should be in...May. If not later. The Chloes wouldn't be so consistently late if I lived in NYC or something. So.

Can somebody take me to NY? PLEASE?

Yes, I'm pleading.

*Sigh.*

Bon Anniversaire, La Binoche!

The unquestionable French goddess turns 45 today. Let us all bow down to her perfection. My way? I'm FINALLY watching The English Patient tonight. I've been putting it off for far too long, and I feel only like a quasi-fan of hers because of it. So what better way could there be!

Now, for some pictographic amazingness...

^ Her hard-to-top performance (by anyone) in Three Colors: Blue.
Ugh. Je t'aime, je t'aime, je t'aime. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

...and to myself as well. I guess. I'm certainly no Binoche, but whatever.

For more Juliette, check The Film Experience's recent glorifying. ♥

I HAVE MY FIRST BLU-RAYS NOW. OMG.

For... some reason or another... I got my first Blu-Ray movies today - Australia and WALL•E. I just feel like announcing it. Maybe just to say they're much more interesting first-owned than E.T. the Extra Terrestrial (which was my first DVD for some reason). Sure, I mean, I don't have a player yet, nor do we even have a suitable HDTV whatsoever, BUT I HAVE THEM. This may seem like backwards logic, but it's actually to save money - buy the discs gradually so when we get the stuff we'll have something to watch. Damn this recession.

Anyway, I have basically been making love to them all day. The boxes are so gloriously compact and BLUE (duh). It doesn't hurt that their respective cover arts are nearly perfect and damn addictive to look at. So are the films themselves! Ugh, I wanna watch them NOWWWW.

Fate is a bitch.

"Mother, now I know where you live."

Joe Hisaishi is (a?!) God

One of these days, I need to make a post of all the people whom I consider to be God - or, rather, a God, I guess, since a group of more than one God is a called a murder. What...? Maybe a label will suffice for now. ANYWAY. Tonight, I had a random inclination to listen to a bunch of compositions by Joe Hisaishi, long-time music collaborator of the one and only Hayao Miyazaki -- and have not been able to stop. He. is. a? GOD. I know I just posted about him a few weeks ago (regarding his next assured Chloe win), but whatever. He's the world's greatest working film composer, and YOU ALL MUST LISTEN TO THESE AND BOW DOWN BEFORE HIS MAJESTIC BRILLIANCE. You're not bowing hard enough!




There are six Chloes between those. And chances are Hisaishi has even more than those. Seriously, the only person who may have won more than him is Miyazaki himself. DAN WHITE J.D. HAS A BIAS!! [/slurred]

Who are YOUR favorite working film composers?

(...And All That Jazz)

So, I let these non-posting periods get SO out of control. It's almost been a week! Jesus fucking Christ, I suck.

Fierce. -->

Anyway, I'm good. Busy. We're currently renovating my room! It's gonna be crazy and totally personalized beyond the point of no return. If I ever get a camera I'll take pics when it's done and post them here. :)

Also, um, you may have noticed the link to my Amazon wish list to the right, there. Yeah... um, my birthday is rather soon, and, well, I like stuff. I'm sure none of you will actually buy me anything, but hey, it's worth a shot. Wait, no it isn't. Um. Ugh, whatever. BUY ME SOMETHING.

Hm. Well, that's sorta all I got right now. I have something major in the pipeline, maybe, so keep an eye out. Or not. I understand it either way.